Hillaire Belloc: “When I’m dead, I hope it may be said, his sins were scarlet but his books were read.”

Fr. Hunwicke’s suggestion for a memorial plaque on a park bench (he hates the idea of them):
IN MEMORY OF THE REVD JOHN WILLIAM HUNWICKE MA Oxon
HE WAS A SPLENETIC MISANTHROPE
WHO LOATHED NATURE* AND DETESTED THE ENVIRONMENT*
                              DO NOT SIT HERE

John Cleese: “How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans.”

Spike Milligan’s epitaph, translated from Irish: “I told you I was sick!”